I share below some different ways you can use the wheel to teach about feelings and help your child through big emotions. When a child is in the blue zone they are usually still in control, as you are in the yellow zone, but with low energy emotions. Here I have put angry, frustrated, and scared. This is the zone kids are in during meltdowns. When a child is in the red zone, they usually really struggle to control their reactions. The red zone describes a heightened state of intense emotions. In this zone I have put anxious, silly, and confused. The yellow zone is a place where the child typically still has some control, but they aren’t in the ideal zone for learning and relating. If you are trying to read or do schoolwork and your child seems distracted, you could talk with your child about their feelings and how to get back to this zone before continuing lessons. The emotions in this zone are calm, happy, and focused. The green zone is used to describe when your child is in a calm state and ready to talk, listen, and learn. Here is a quick summary about the four zones. I simplified the feelings and created simple visuals for each one. This is known as the Four Zones of Regulation and is often used in classrooms and in occupational therapy. I decided it was time to have a go-to tool, so I created The Feelings Wheel For Kids and Calm Down Cards.Īs you can see on the wheel, the emotions I used are separated into 4 colors. I knew I needed something fun and visual. I have already seen glimpses of this in one of my young children, so I am on a journey to be more intentional in this area.Īfter multiple messy situations that arose where I found myself trying to sort out emotions with my children and talk through how they could manage those emotions differently, I decided I needed to be more intentional in teaching them and having a plan before the situation arose. The inability to self-regulate emotions can lead to traits like anger, aggression, withdrawal, or anxiety. Kids who don’t have the ability to control their feelings or behavior can have a harder time making or keeping friends. A child who cannot self-regulate and throws tantrums constantly puts a strain on all the relationships in the household. A child’s capacity to identify and regulate their emotions affects their family and peer relationships, attention skills, and long-term mental health. As their parents, it is one of the most important things we can teach our children. This is not a skill we are born with, but rather it has to be taught, modeled, and practiced. I have learned what triggers me and certain strategies to use in those situations to help myself practice self-control. For me, in that moment, I may take a deep breath and ask my older children to go outside for a minute so I can handle one issue at a time and calm down before addressing their spat. Since that isn’t possible, it is important for me to model to my children what healthy emotion regulation looks like. I wish I could just snap my fingers and all the big emotions in all of us could just settle down in moments like that. This is just a quick snapshot of how quickly things can turn from peace to disorder in so many of my days and probably yours too. If that is true for us as adults, how much harder is it for children who haven’t had nearly as much education or practice? I can feel my face getting hot as the chaos and emotions are swirling around the room–and most of them, inside of myself.Īs an adult I have learned to identify what I am feeling in that moment and usually how to control my impulses, but even as a 35-year old woman with years and years of practice, I still have moments where the big feelings get the best of me and I react poorly. The big brother is stomping up the stairs shouting angrily that she is lying and he didn’t do anything. Simultaneously, my five-year-old is wailing because her big brother allegedly took the toy she was playing with from her hand and scratched her in the meantime. I am standing over the stove stirring dinner while holding the fussy infant, and my toddler sneaks in behind me, bringing a scoop of dirt in the house and pours it on the rug.
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